Back when tequila flowed like the Red River in April and my hair sprouted like weeds, I was a bit of a daredevil. Sometimes by choice, other times by accident. Once upon a motorcycle, I passed fast and furious the car in front of me, only to be confronted by an oncoming tractor trailer. I slid in between with the dexterity of a heart surgeon.
One day I bungee jumped from a crane some 200 feet (61 meters) in the air. I was supposed to make like a swan and dive. Instead, I jumped, bungee cord fastened to my ankles, as though I was trying to escape a burning building. Feet first. Sneakers first. Toes first.
Advertisement
Physics being what it is, the cord reached its limit, as it is wont to do. When it snapped, the huge elastic bands turned me heals over head. My flowing tresses ended up where my laced Nikes were. "Dude," the instructor said shaking my paw when I stopped bouncing. "I do that when I really want to get a rush."
That's when tequila flowed and my hair grew like weeds.
These days I'm a bit more (OK, a lot more) sedentary. When I see videos of people BASE jumping, I have to close my eyes. I know a little bit about gravity. I know it's strong enough to keep Earth from spinning off into space. I also know it pulls objects toward the ground. So, when a BASE (BASE stands for bridge, antenna, span, Earth) jumper throws himself, or herself, off a building, a cliff or a tower, there's nothing standing between them and certain death except a flimsy parachute. I won't even tell you how whacked those guys with wing suits are.
Most people consider BASE jumping the most dangerous sport in the world. I can see why. At least skydivers hurl themselves out of planes from thousands of feet in the air. BASE jumpers rather free fall from less than 1,000 feet (304.8 meters). Why do they do it? I suppose, they are in search of an adrenaline smackdown. They'll fall from the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or the Golden Gate Bridge, or the CN Tower in Toronto. The views are awesome, or so I've been told.
I don't care how much of a daredevil I was back in the day. I couldn't BASE jump. I wouldn't BASE jump. OK, I wish I could BASE jump. And if ... if I were to, I'd BASE jump at these five places.